Honey No. 24

Feat. trading with crows and an original honeypot playlist

Happy Sunday everyone! It’s finally starting to feel like spring in LA- the year has been pretty chilly and cloudy here so far, so even though the sun is reeeeally only peeking through the May-Gray-now-June-Gloom in the afternoons I’ll TAKE IT! The warm weather means that we are spending even more time outside in our garden and it’s the most satisfying thing in the world to watch (some) of the things we’ve planted start to grow. We have chard! We have squash! We have something that was labelled “broccoli rabe” in the seed packet but that my plant app identified as a “radish” once it started growing but now that it is flowering the app is convinced it’s “mustard!” Who can say! Time will tell! A novice gardeners delight!

As you may remember, in addition to new fruits and veggies we have also found a tremendous number of non-edible treasures in our backyard. Some of these were probably left by the kids of previous tenants (nerf bullets, mancala stones, animal figurines), some seem to be the antique collection of our yard’s alpha squirrel “John Wayne” (a rusty spoon, fake grapes, a smiling cockroach on a stick), and some seem to emerge in an unending stream from the earth itself (mostly tons of broken glass).

For a while these glass discoveries were unremarkable- there was always something new to collect when we went outside, the last owners had left a lot of junk! But after a while it became clear that no matter how often we cleared the yard, new glass would always appear. For whatever reason this did not phase me. I guess the ground is just….working glass out of its system? I thought, like a simple genius. Until one day someone mentioned that crows often leave gifts for people they like, and everything just fell into place.

We have a number of birds who enjoy hanging around in our area- some scrub jays who typically land outside my window just as I’m discussing something poignant, causing me to quickly google “scrub jay meaning spiritual why,” a mockingbird whose set really gets going around midnight (request the “car alarm” song! it ROCKS and is SOOTHING!) and of course, a number of huge, squawking crows. I had never taken much notice of them until this moment, when I realized that they could become my partners in trade and a one-way ticket out of this place (a renter’s market, see: they bring me enough goods and coins for a down payment).

I immediately googled “how to befriend crows” and found a startling number of forums and blogs dedicated to exactly this undertaking. Food, of course, was an obvious starting point. The real crow-heads recommended leaving unsalted nuts, hardboiled eggs, high-quality cat food, and meat, but since I was an entry-level crow fan I figured some Trader Joe’s sunflower seeds ought to do the trick. I sprinkled them on a lone patio stone in the garden- our trade post, as it were. The next day the seeds were gone, but no gift! I had to up my game….

Meat and high-quality cat food were obviously off the table- this is just for fun and also, gross?- so I figured some brazil nuts were a nice upping of the ante. I sprinkled some chunks on the bartering table, and the next day….I was met with a gift.

😌

A bright orange section of what looks like a Hot Wheels racetrack! RIGHT NEXT to the bartering stone! Zillow.com here I come! How did the crows know?!?

I’ve been hesitant to return to our post because 1. I’m not sure how to up the ante next, and 2. my brother was in town last week and we hosted a little gathering and I’m ashamed to admit that these existing human relationships distracted me from the networking opportunity at hand. But then just the other day, Jesse found a paper airplane under our couch on the patio with two words written inside:

“Pls respect”

The message from the crows was clear. You can’t initiate a trade ritual, nay, a bid for everlasting friendship and then just drop the ball. Pls respect. So it’s back to the reddit forums and crow tumblrs for me. According to them I should be in the same place at the same time with a delicious treat every day, to establish routine and trust. So until further notice you can find me on my patio every morning at 7am with a t-bone in hand, waiting to receive the rest of my Hot Wheels racetrack so I can contact a realtor.

Back in the original Honeypot days (2018-2020) I would link a couple songs I was digging every week, which were all gathered onto one mondo Honeypot playlist. Here it is, all 13.5 hours of it, for your perusing pleasure!

Have a wonderful week my buds! We’re headed to NY for a family friend wedding this week and I absolutely can’t WAIT to lay on my mom’s floor and gab gab gab. See you next Sunday! Keep an eye out for crows!

xx Olivia